Apocalypse of Jude

When Audrey is done combing her hair, she looks a moment again in the hand-wiped mirror, thinking of Gary and all that she has now left behind.

/well thats done/ /im glad its all over/

She exits the bathroom, mustering herself to walk from her own newly executed darkness into an attempt of sustained light beyond.

“How are you feeling?”

Evelin stands sympathetically before her.

“Much better thanks.”

She moves close to Audrey and with naturalness embraces her.

“Now don’t worry about staying here okay. I told my husband you needed a place to stay for a while. Don’t worry, all I told him was that things turned sour with your boyfriend and you needed out.”

A lightened smile relaxes Audrey.

“He’ll be around later tonight, but I asked him not to come home till later. So don’t worry, you can really just relax.”

“Thank you.” Audrey’s demure voice lays out beautifully the fullness of her gratitude.

“You are more than welcome. I’m just glad we could get all your important stuff out of that flat without anyone there. At least you know for now you can’t be tracked. But come sit down. Let’s eat.”

Evelin sets a plate in front of Audrey and sits opposite her at the small round table.

“Let’s say grace.”

Audrey bows her head and listens to the words of thanks for the food and is riveted at the sense of humility coming from Evelin. Once the blessing is done, Evelin looks up.
“Help yourself to some wine. Do you want some ice with it?”

“Please.”

She pours herself the wine as Evelin goes to the icebox.

“Can I pour you some wine?”

“Just half a glass. I already had some while cooking dinner. Please start. Cold lasagne just doesn’t do me justice.”

Audrey winces as Evelin sits.

“Justice.”

“Let’s worry about that later.”

“Sorry. It tastes really good. Do you cook like this every night?”

“You’ve got to be kidding. Sometimes Geoff’s lucky if he gets toast with his Welsh Rarebit.”

They eat in silence for a while.

“How long have you and Geoff been married?”

“About three years.”

“You going to have kids?”

“I don’t know. I mean I know it sounds strange. We’ve been trying. But nothing yet. So we’re just trusting God will bless us when the time comes.”

Mouthfuls fill the silence.

“What’s he like?”

“Geoff? He’s a good man, with enough sensitivity in that masculine ego to know how to make you feel like woman, which kind of gets you hooked doesn’t it.”

She smiles impishly at Evelin.

“You spend so much of your single life waiting to be made to feel more than an object, and when you find a guy that can do that it’s a bit of heaven I guess.”

“You sound as if you’re very happy.”

Evelin drinks her wine.

“I wouldn’t change Geoff for the world. And if this counts for anything, over the years with him I feel more and more like a woman and less like an object than I ever did before.”

There is no hesitation to her voice.

“It’s amazing what kind of healing God can work within a marriage. Can I get you some more lasagne?”

“No thanks, I’m sorry but I’m not that hungry.”

“You don’t mind if I stuff my face then?”

Audrey returns the smile with a little laugh.

“No, of course not.”

“Good, because I love lasagne. And don’t you dare ask me how I can eat so much and stay so thin.” She laughs lightly.

Audrey watches her clean the plate thinking about Evelin’s comment on God and healing.

“May I ask you why you invited me for Christmas Eve dinner today?”

Evelin looks up from a mouthful to see Audrey leaning back with wine glass clasped in both her hands. She squints to the ceiling, her fork hanging mid air.

“Sometimes God puts this desire of His in my heart and asks me to do it.”

Her lips purse a secretive kind of smile and her eyes give a jig of a dance.

“That’s why.”

Audrey’s face is wincing again. Evelin smiles.

“You don’t believe me?”

“No, it’s not that. Just that suddenly everything looks like God set all this up. You saying God asked you to invite me and all what happened to me today. Like he wanted me to be raped so I could land up here.”

Evelin drops her head and Audrey feels the sadness she has just caused, but knows she can’t change what she feels. But Evelin is looking at her again.

“You angry with God?”

Audrey quietly lays down her wine and thinks through the question.

“No, I guess I’m not angry with God. I’ve no right to be. This mess I’m in is because of decisions I’ve made. I’m more angry with my mother.”

Her voice trails off.

“Is that why you’re not going home for Christmas?”

Audrey heaves deeply and sniffs hard, but looks squarely at Evelin.

“Let me tell you about my obsession with Audrey Hepburn.”

Wasteland Mix: Fragment 71