Fragment 90 /Christmastide /Compline /Thurs, 24 Dec 1998
/can’t even hear the sound of water anymore/ /lapping under the boat/ /nor the cicadas/ /if i could only hear the sound of water/
Janice looks at Gary with a soul burning, disgusted with herself that she is unable to control her sexual lust.
/you have left me nothing paul/ /not even a pool among the rocky beds of this dried up river/ /well im going to take gary down with me/ /if its the last thing i do/
“Want to go to your place and do some lines?”
The light entering Gary’s eyes at the suggestion reflects a greedy hunger that nauseates her, as she realises he knows nothing of the ritual to take place in its rooms tonight.
“Let’s go down to the car then.”
Nothing further passes between them as they leave the hotel for their car. Once in the car, the silence continues as Janice allows her head to turn over the events of the previous day, of the lateness of her returning from work, the kitchen empty of Audrey’s painful smile of greeting, the house empty of her belongings.
Images of lines being snorted between her and Audrey the evening before last start flashing through her head. She remembers leaving a vacant, sad Audrey at home.
/im sorry i had to do that to you audrey/ /where ever you are right now/ /but doing gary was my last chance to try get free from paul/ /what an illusion/
Gary’s car pulls up outside the still darkened house on the hill. Janice continues to look straight ahead, not moving. Gary looks annoyed.
“Hey, I don’t want to sit here all night. I want to snort.”
Her voice snaps “Hey, this is my stash and I’ll take as much time as I want.”
/ok paul/ /whatever you are you up to/ /im ready/ /you just better make sure this beached whale goes down with me/ /hes been living off my lust for years/ /make him weep at my demise/ /then destroy him/
“Let’s go.”
They exit the car and go up into the house.
In the living room Gary slouches into one of the arm chairs while she cuts the coke on the coffee table.
“Here.”
She presents him with two severed lines. In his own hands he rolls a note, while she bends to snort the crystals, Gary unable to keep his eyes off her cleavage open to him. She falls back hard against the couch, her head up against its back, her eyes closed. He gets up and sits himself down next to her, snorts his lines then pulls her astride him.
[…] will satisfy her lust. She laughs bitterly to herself, remembering when she first laid down and raised her knees to Paul: In a row boat on the river, at night, to the sound of a passing train, and the cicadas […]
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